When to let go? when do I …? when does the holding on stop being pain and become a habit of always checking the door before bed always running a fork through my fish always hanging an ornament given by someone you don’t even remember of dusting dog bowls four years empty — when does…
My Phantom Limb
A phantom limb I feel your pain gone and dead. I walk with a limp now four years a broken limb ripped from my trunk weathered wormed worn gone and dead. A limb warm still beating and bursting golden into a sky ready to burst with tears still rustling through my fingers. A limb that…
Memory’s — — Space
Today — — you rest remembered — — in — — a space — — a place of sand — — and ash pawprints — — upon — — an urn a soft spot a safe — — sojourn waiting — — having left — — me listening — — to your memories — —…
Possessing Loss: Remembering Ben
I’d never realized that loss is such a complicated and nuanced concept. I thought you either had something or you didn’t — that something is either possessed or it is lost. I figured the only complication would be if something is misplaced. But over the last year, I’ve discovered that loss is something that can…
Emotion in Motion ~ Ben’s 19th Birthday
It’s a day I’ve seen sneaking up in my calendar for a month. Days even weeks went by when I didn’t notice it until, again, this week, I was reminded that this Saturday would be April 25th … a day that would have marked Ben’s 19th birthday. This would be the first birthday where Ben…
Fastest and most Expressive Tongue in the West … the East … and Central
When Ben passed away in October, I was left going through thousands and thousands of photos of him and, in the process, one of the very telling parts of his personality was expressed again and again … and that was the constance of his tongue. It found it’s way into both hearts … and almost…
Serenity’s Memory
For longest time, serenity was my space filled by just a presence; serenity was the presence that filled my space; it was space filled by the presence of serenity. Serenity is now a memory of that space filled. Memories of serenity fill my space. My space is now memories of serenity…. We were each other’s serenity….
A Study in Yellow ~ No. 6: Ben’s Paw Prints
“A Study in Yellow #6: Ben’s Paw Prints” Paw prints into my heart Dancing in the fresh snow Muddied upon upon the floor following you everywhere A mark against a window Swatted on my face your pads pulse with life Grasping tight a toy Digging into my denim jeans holding on…
Lost and Found
Lost starving in an iron labyrinth of kiosks Found darting through the scurry of strange feet Lost to the offer of escape Found staring through the open door Lost your fear Found my playfulness Lost a country Found a home Lost a mother Found resilience Lost your place sleeping at my feet Found your way…
Ben ~ In Memoriam
It was a rainy morning, a forecast filled with tears. Ben, the miracle dog, has left us, left my hearth, but not my heart. These past few days have been the saddest of my life — and that isn’t hyperbole. It seems only right that it has poured rain almost non-stop here for two days, save…
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